November 29, 2005
version 2
Word formated version of this document: how_denial_works.doc
Whether we like it or not, each of us is constrained by limits on what we can do and feel. To ignore these limits leads to denial and eventually to failure. To achieve excellence, we must first understand the reality of the everyday, with all its demands and potential frustrations. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
All forms of tampering with human beings, getting at them, shaping them against their will to your own pattern, all thought control and conditioning is, therefore, a denial of that in men which makes them men and their values ultimate. Isaiah Berlin
Introduction
This essay’s purpose is to examine denial’s roots and its implications for those of us who wish to understand as much as possible about where our blind spots are likely to be.
After I found the historical and other data that clearly indicated Mormonism was not what I thought it to be, I was still deeply troubled by various aspects of my Mormon experience. In particular, where did the “spiritual experiences” I had while Mormon come from? How it was possible that I could have felt so certain that Mormonism was “true”? And why did so many intelligent people also profess to have had experiences similar to mine while continuing to be (apparently at least) devout orthodox Mormons? As I came to understand how denial works, I saw my Mormon spiritual and social experience in a different light. This mostly resulted from finding parallel experiences in many other religious cultures, including extremely intelligent people who held literalist beliefs that I had no trouble dismissing as irrational. There was so little difference in substance between these beliefs and Mormon beliefs as I had come to understand them, that I came to feel comfortable trusting my rational faculties as far as Mormonism was concerned, and I recognized that it was largely a matter of limited perspective and my connection to a Mormon family and community that was responsible for my beliefs, as well as those of other “obviously” irrational people (young earth creationists; Muslim suicide bombers; holocaust deniers; Jehovah’s Witnesses; etc.).
This essay started out as part of a much longer piece of analysis I was doing on the process of recovering from the kind of conditioning Mormonism administers to its faithful. However, that project bogged down as I felt I had understood enough of what had attracted my attention to it, and other concepts began to seem more important. However, the material I had collected with regard to how denial works seemed like it might be helpful enough to other people that I have carved it out and will make it publicly available as it is. If it seems rough around the edges, I have just explained why.
As is usual for me, I present this on an “as is, where is” basis, without apology. I don’t have the time or desire at this point to polish my “notes” into something worthy of real publication, but since I continue to have people write to me with thanks for making what has been helpful to me available to others, I will continue to do so.
I should note for the record a couple of other areas of research related to denial that fascinate me, and are the subject of my ongoing (if sporadic) study as time and energy permit, but are outside the scope of what I have written here.
First, in some ways humans have an amazing ability to process small amounts of information rapidly and accurately. See Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink”, Gerd Gigenenzer’s “The Adaptive Toolkit” (see http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/gigerenzer03/gigerenzer_index.html) and John Gottman’s research regarding marriage (http://www.gottman.com/ and http://www.artsci.washington.edu/newsletter/Autumn00/Gottman.htm). On the other hand, there are vast areas of perception that have been shown to be faulty. This essay outlines many of those. It is possible to create a map showing the areas of personal and social interaction in which we are likely to use our best perceptive capacities, and those where we are more likely to be faulty. I intend to at some point do that, or find someone else’s analysis that performs the same function. To my knowledge, nothing like this yet exists.
Second, the question of how to deal with our propensity for denial fascinates me. That is, once we have a pretty good idea what causes denial and hence when and where we are likely to be subject to it, what can we do about that? The short answer is that we should rely upon the judgment of others when we know we are at risk, just like after having more than two drinks I no longer trust my instincts as to whether I am fit to drive. I follow mechanistic rules in that circumstance that have to do with how much I have had to drink, when I drank it, etc. before I will under any circumstance let myself behind the wheel. And I do this because I know my judgment is compromised by more than a certain small amount of alcohol. The same is true with regard to the psychological and social forces that cause denial. However, the simply formula I have just indicated is the tip of a huge, interesting iceberg about which a massive amount of worthwhile research has been conducted. See http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0IBS/is_1_28/ai_82351480 for some useful additional ideas in this regard.
