I don’t know why, but I’m on a bit of a posting jag these past few days.
I was driving in the car this morning with my two teenage sons, aged 18 and 14, and for some reason the Skull and Bones Society came up in our conversation. One of the boys described how part of the initiation rite in that society is the disclosure of the kind of deep, dark secret that could be used by other Society members to hurt you if you ever broke their code or did other members dirt in some way. People who study initiation rites have shown that if you endure pain in order to get into an organization, the membership means more to you and you will be more dedicated to the organization. Hence, most long-lived organizations require a significant entrance price to be paid.
I explained to the boys that having to disclose some of your worst moments in public fits into that category, as do the crazy things otherwise sober, respectable Mormons do during their temple ceremonies. The boys were, respectively, 12 and eight years old when I left Mormonism, and so they were never really socialized as Mormons. They consistently have trouble imagining how the wonderful Mormons they know and love believe and do the things they sometimes hear about with regard to Mormonism. Our discussion of the temple ceremony this morning was one of those experiences from their point of view.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Spirituality.
Tagged with Children, Mormon, Ritual, Temple, Weird.
By admin
– March 23, 2009
It is Sunday, March 22, 2009. I’m sitting in my living room at eight o’clock in the morning, staring through picture windows across the prairies and foothills toward the Rocky Mountains about 30 miles away.
I can’t see the mountains. We’re in the middle of a spectacular spring snowstorm that started late last night. Snow is piled 10 inches deep on the ground, and up to 6 inches on many tree branches and bushes. And, it is still falling heavily. This is the kind of day to not go out unless you have to, or have a good four-wheel-drive vehicle and feel like adventure.
For some reason, today is also one of those welcome days on which I feel overwhelming gratitude. They usually come on Sundays, and I haven’t had one for a while. During the first year or so after I left Mormonism, this was regular event. Probably every two or three weeks I would have a strong dose of the feelings that are with me right now. But, no matter how good or bad things are, we quickly habituate. So, I am enjoying a rare pleasure.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Spirituality.
Tagged with Children, Gratitude, Joy, Post-Mormon, Religion, Secularism.
By admin
– March 22, 2009
Some time ago, I wrote my usual long, verbose, redundant, meandering, biased, ad hominem, misleading analysis of how Mormon and other apologetic groups work. It was, of course, described this way by a Mormon apologist. You can find it at http://www.mccue.cc/bob/documents/rs…..
For reasons unclear to me, I woke up this morning with a few things to add to this analysis. In particular, I felt the need to atone for the sin of describing Fanny Deterson (I am changing names for the hell of it) and his ilk as “fog machines” who kick up dust and otherwise create intellectual and information barriers around Mormonism that make it harder for people to find their way out of the maze. By using only one metaphor, I probably gave the false impression that these folks have only one function. I should have also referred to them as puss. Let me explain.
We humans are a strange mix of the conscious and the unconscious. Our behaviors are motivated by unconscious factors to a far greater extent than we generally appreciate. In particular, our social groups function in ways highly analogous to biological organisms. This can perhaps best be seen in the behavior of highly social insects, such as ants and bees. Their hives display a collective intelligence that emerges from the interaction of very simple parts, and that cannot be explained by the properties of any of those parts. It is the way in which they are organized, and interact, that creates the intelligence. See http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/deborah_gordon_digs_ants.html for example.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon.
Tagged with Apologetics, Cognitive Biases, Commitment, Conflict, Critical Thinking, Defend, Mormon.
By admin
– March 20, 2009
Helen Fisher’s latest book, “Why Him? Why Her?” is yet another excellent, informative read. I bought it for my late adolescent – twenty-something children, but have thoroughly enjoyed reading it myself.
This note’s purpose is to briefly describe one issue related to Mormon mate choice that jumped out at me as I read this book. That is, certain personality types tend to mate best with other particular personality types, and strong social influences such as Mormonism tend to cause individuals to falsely identify their own personality type, and therefore to make ill fitting mate choices. This has helped me to understand a number of things about Mormon coupling that have puzzled me.
Who Is Helen Fisher?
Before getting into that, let me indicate that I highly recommend Helen Fisher’s work in general (see http://psychjourney_blogs.typepad.com… andhttp://www.chemistry.com/relationship… for a smattering of her recent ideas). She is one of the world’s leading anthropologists of human mating behaviour. This book in particular, is a powerful tool not only for people who are trying to understand mating behaviour, but as an exercise in general self understanding. Fisher breaks down personality type in a way that is for me new and highly informative. I will come back to that briefly after describing the issue that brought me to the computer this morning.
As an aside, I understand that Fisher’s work in this area was inspired by consulting she was asked to do for the match.com people, which led to the creation of the chemistry.com dating service. She designed the personality profile test for that website on the basis of the research summarized in this book.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Science, Spirituality.
Tagged with Depression, Divorse, Happiness, Hinduism, Love, Magical Thinking, Marriage, Morals, Mormon, Personality Type.
By admin
– March 18, 2009
The statement “All religious beliefs should be respected!” or the question “To what extent, and how, should I respect religious beliefs other people have?” come up often enough in my correspondence that I have finally decided to record a relatively succinct response that I can send instead of dictating more or less the same thing over and over again.
Should All Religious Beliefs Be Respected?
I will start with the so-called new atheists or unholy triumvirate (Richard Dawkins, “The God Delusion”; Sam Harris, “The End of Faith”, and “Letter to a Christian Nation”; and Daniel Dennett “Breaking the Spell”), which became the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse with the addition of the bombastic and entertaining Christopher Hitchens (“God Is Not Great”). These gentlemen stridently lay out the case against extreme, dogmatic religious belief. While they make many valid points, their books are full of strawmen argument, false dichotomies and many of the other tropes that characterize the arguments made by the dogmatically religious. This has regrettably exposed their position to justified criticism. I prefer Daniel Dennett’s approach considerably over the rest, but even his fails in many respects to take account of religion belief’s varied, nuanced reality.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Science, Spirituality.
Tagged with Beleif, Conflict, Double Standard, Evolution, Feminism, Gay, Magical Thinking, Missionary, Mormon, Polygamy, Religion, Respect, Science, Secularism.
By admin
– March 11, 2009
This question was put to me the other day over lunch by a close friend who I had not seen for a number of years. I hasten to add that he is not about to tell his wife this. They are both still Mormon. However, we had a great conversation about all kinds of things, and this question came up. I could tell he was moved by what we talked about in that regard, and so decided to record the essence of our conversation.
Here are the guts of the essay for those who like short as opposed to long reads.
I suggested to my friend that if he ever decided to leave Mormonism, that he try something like this. He could look his wife in the eye, tell her how much he loves her, and tell her that he chooses to be with her. He wants the kind of life they have together. He knows that he could have a short term hormonal rush if he had an affair or left her to start a relationship with another woman, and that he chooses not to do this because he wants the long-term intimacy that he has with his wife to continue to grow, and he does not want to be with any other woman. He has decided what he wants, and that is his wife. No one else will do because of who she is and their history together. He is not doing this because he is afraid of punishments that might come to him after death. He is not afraid of losing any rewards after death or during this life. He has studied the nature of relationships in general and his marriage in particular as carefully as he can, and he is absolutely committed to her and her alone.
Continued…
Posted in Mormon, Post-Mormon, Spirituality.
Tagged with Catholic Church, Hinduism, Love, Magical Thinking, Marriage, Morals, Mormon, Muslim, Post-Mormon, Religion, Skeptical, Traditional, Trust.
By admin
– February 13, 2009
Brothers and Sisters, I want to bear you my testimony this morning…
I know the world is true. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. I have had so many experiences that have made this belief unshakable, and I want to tell you about one of them this morning.
My 14-year-old son and I went skiing a few days ago. It has been unusually warm in the Canadian Rockies for the past few weeks, and so very little snow has fallen in an already bad snow year. The previous weekend we had also skied, and the conditions were terrible. So, this this last time out our expectations were low.
We wonderfully surprised. It was sunny. There had been some fresh snow, and so the skiing conditions were pretty good and the environment was spectacular. There is something about getting up near the tops of the mountains, even on a chair lift surrounded by many other people, that makes us feel wonderful. What immense forces caused those mountains rise up? They inspires awe. Those mountains are true.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Spirituality.
Tagged with Dogma, Famlies, God, Mormon, Myth, Post-Mormon, Religion, Secularism, Spirituality.
By admin
– February 10, 2009
Trevor Southey is one of the greatest living Mormon or post-Mormon artists. You can see his work at http://www.trevorsouthey.com/ . His “Dark Light” has come to have significant meaning for me. You can find a picture of this work at http://picasaweb.google.ca/bob.mccue4… it is an approximately 3′ x 5′ mixed-media piece. A bronze figure, about 3 feet in height, hangs from a wooden cross, embedded within the painting. Clear resin wedges appear to extend the trunk and arms of the cross from the top and sides of the work. Nails and thorns are embedded within the clear wedges.
Trevor is a South African origin, and converted during his youth to Mormonism. He eventually taught fine art at BYU, married, became the father of six children, and acknowledged his identity as a gay person. He was one of the individuals featured in the recent PBS broadcast with regard to Mormonism.
I had the opportunity to meet Trevor in person at last fall’s Affirmation conference in Los Angeles. He is a remarkable individual -one of those from whom most people feel at a distance the emanation of human warmth. As an aside, I had the opportunity to spend quite a while chatting with Mike Quinn at the same conference. This is the second time I’ve had the opportunity to chat intimately with him. He and Trevor have a similar ability to project immense human warmth.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Spirituality.
Tagged with Art, Beleif, Chaos, Famlies, Friends, Gay, Mormon, Post-Mormon.
By admin
– January 26, 2009
Today’s Globe and Mail has an interesting article with regard to the recent upsurge in church attendance. See http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servle… No news here really. Religious belief and behavior are to large extent a response to perceived danger. That is not to say that this is all religion is. It is a complex social phenomenon that performs many different roles in different lives, and does a lot of good as well as a lot of bad. Importantly, some religious organisms perform a far healthier role in the lives of their adherents than others. However, a common denominator and distinguishing feature of virtually all significant religious movements is the way in which they exploit basic human existential and other fears, and create a wide range of additional fears in order to enhance their palliative appeal.
The worst part of religion is a bit like a golf coach who makes his client so insecure that he can only play well with the coach’s help. Better yet, think of a massive weight loss clinic that prescribes inefficient exercise programs while surreptitiously slipping its patients sugar and fat, and keeping them impossibly busy and otherwise doing all it can to prevent them from comparing their weight-loss program to others that are easily available. The ultimate in this regard are the human batteries in a vat, as portrayed by “The Matrix”.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Science, Spirituality.
Tagged with Baseball, Blind Spot, Fear, Magical Thinking, Morals, Objectivity, Religion, Sports.
By admin
– January 26, 2009
The recent psychological literature has noted a striking increase in depression rates at more or less the same time as the psychological community has turned its eye, and pen, toward what makes people happy.[1] It seems, to an extent, that the more aware we become of our potential for happiness, the more depressed we are. This makes sense, since one of the key findings with regard to happiness is that it is a byproduct of other meaningful activities. In essence, happiness cannot be our main objective. Therefore, the more consciously aware we are of our desire to be happy and our pursuit of it, the less likely we are to find it. This is one of life’s many paradoxes. There is, however, another way to look at this issue.
One of our greatest needs is for the perception of security, and therefore certainty. The literature with regard to cognitive biases and denial makes this crystal clear.[2] During the course of the last couple of decades, but in particular during the course of the last five or so years, the Internet and other information technologies have become widely used, and have exposed humanity more than ever to vast amounts of information. At the same time, information continues to multiply exponentially. The more access we have different perspectives, the more aware we become of how little we know, and how often our beliefs are incorrect. Thus, our awareness of our fallibility, and insecurity, increases. This increases psychological stress. It makes sense that depression would increase as a result of this, if nothing else.
Continued…
Posted in Post-Mormon, Science, Spirituality.
Tagged with Change, Chaos, Cognitive Biases, Depression, Evolution, Happiness, Paradox, Security, Stress.
By admin
– January 23, 2009
